As the moment i wrote this down, i've came to realize that, things that happens in the past, is the past. and you shouldn't keep the same feeling you have in the past up until now.
Things that happens in the past, whether it makes you happy, sad, angry, pissed, annoyed or what-so-ever, it should stay in the past and in that limited time frame, let it be a day, a week or a month.
we learn from what we experienced, and we take it and keep it in our mind. so that If the same thing happens again, we would know what to do. Think about it this way. Something happened to you, bad thing, and it's because of your fault.
now i see the situation like this: you were given a chance, and you blew it. isn't it important for you to learn from it? and Prevent it from happening again?
because i'm pretty sure, people will forgive you for the first time, but they won't do the same if you repeat your mistake. No one will. so if you treasure something so much, stop making mistake that will make you lose it.
And, if you really did lose it, don't cling on to it. life is like a Flowing stream, and events are like leaves that fall into a stream, it will follow the flow of time, and it will reach the sea in the end. So the Sea gathers anything that happens in the Past. In our life, we called that Sea, History. and it is important for us to harvest for it, and not trying to bring the leaves back to the tree.
Someone makes me realize, that i shouldn't be worrying her anymore last night, and that i should start a new journey in my life. i wonder how long would it takes me to do that...
i should start looking for a girlfriend, but i think i've lost my sensitivity to feel the love that people are trying to show, or if it's just that no one here really love me, as in love's life love?
maybe i should stay single, for a couple of years more.... maybe.....
i don't know.
i'd be really happy to know, if anyone out there who had a crush on me.