Randomness in Life

People always says that life is full of unpredictable occurrence, which is just so true, these unpredictable occurrence may or may not change a person's life.
and sometimes i found myself thinking, if such occurrence happens, should i stay as who i am now and let the flow of life brings me to wherever it may bring me to?
or change myself to cope with what that had changed?

It has been a a few months since i join WRS(Wildlife Reserves Singapore), and it has been a while that my colleagues has been looking out for potential girls for me to date with. yeah, sometime i just go =.= when they found another person with "potential".... yes i WOULD be happier if i found a date, but without it, I'm fine too, thank you.

Talking about dating, i wonder how many people actually thought of dating someone from another country? i would really want to know how serious do you guys think, that the difference in Nationality will affect a person decision, and a couple's relations? take me as an example, I've been raised in a family, whereby my parents used to think that people from Mainland China are good in cheating, con you by making you think that they fell in love with you, marries you and then run away with all your money. well, i know that there are quite a few this kind of cases, and i don't blame them for thinking so. but what if i'm dating a girl from Mainland China? will they still thinks the same about China people? or will they change their view on them?

[As Promised]

As I promised, I’d said that I’ll reveal the reason I ask those question from my previous post. The reason that I ask those questions is because quite often I came to realize that most of the things that we see and heard aren’t really like what it was. For example, you guys think that I’m rich. As a matter of fact, I am rich, as of now. But I wasn’t born as a rich kid. I’ve been through time when my family was really poor. I recall doing part time job in a lawyer firm as cleaner, with my mom. We would go there in the evening, when all the staffs there had finished their work, and we start vacuuming and sweeping the floor. Me myself had worked at several places and none the less, it helps shaped and mound my character as who I am now.

If I were to answer the three question myself, all three answer would be a [no]. No, I’m not 100% a kind person, because I don’t give money to any beggers’ that I met. No, I’m not a rich kid, coz if I’m a rich kid; I’d have at least had some money in my bank. And no, I’m not a nice person, there are lots of stuffs that I did, and mind you that whether I regretted doing it or not, it’s not something that I would be proud to say I did that.

Throughout the recent year, I’ve changed a lot. Especially through the three years I’ve spend in UMT, with all those great people that I met, that taught me stuffs that I’d never learn elsewhere. My coursemates, my friends, my seniors and juniors. And I’m very grateful that I met these peoples. I too, is a normal human being, and like all other human being, I tend to regret. I regret that I never treated those people better than anyone else. Those that spend a lot of time around me, those that cared for me, those that’d do stupid stuffs just to make me smile. Those that sacrifice their time for me.

Looking at those pictures, recalling all the moment, all these makes my emotion fluctuates, there’s only one question on my mind now. When can we meet again and bring back those moments….?

中秋庆典

通常我都会以英文写部落格, 想一想， 偶尔也应该用华语写吧.....

经已很多年没庆祝中秋了...
可能是因为家中比较少庆祝吧... 就算有庆祝， 气氛也不怎么热闹... 就是普通家庭成员吃顿饭，
烧烧香，敬敬酒就算了。 反正也不会有其他人来参加....
进了大学, 虽然华协也有办中秋庆典， 但总是觉得没那种温馨的气氛....
烧烤会， 游戏， 和朋友们聚一聚，吹吹水， 短暂地放下忙碌的心。

星期四收到表姐的短讯， 说星期六会庆祝中秋，问我会不会出席。
由于其他人约我，我也答应了她，我会出席。
星期五接到表姐的来， 说星期六的聚回，会在中午开始。
但星期六我需要工作，所以我只能答应她， 工作完了会尽快过去。
哪懂我那在Dubai的老板突然回来, 就这样,我们被他抓去吃饭.... (=.=)

回到家, 经已八点多了, 换了衣服便立刻赶过去...
虽然食物已所剩无几， 但至少我赶上了，表姐从厨房拿出一碟食物， 说是留给我的。
既然如此，我也只能乖乖地把它吃完。

其中， 亲戚们不断地叫我吃东西，月饼啦， 水果啦， 有的没的一大堆， 我也只好从命。
虽然大多数时间是我吃我的， 他们聊他们的， 但是， 这气氛就能让我感到一丝丝的温馨。
亲戚们那一份份的关心， 一句句的问候.... 我已很多年没感受到，没听到了....

谢谢你们， 尤其是表姐.... 谢谢....

Live Your Life....

Have you ever think about the meaning of Being Alive?
have you ever thought about what your life should be?

Every person live their life in their own way.
some preferred it to be Challenging,
some Preferred it to be Normal.
for now, i'm kinda felt lost about how my life should be....
i dreamed about a relaxing, chilling kinda life.
spend my time, with the person i like...
doing things that we enjoy doing...

and now...?
every single day, doing the same thing again and again,
over and over again...
all bored up, all alone....
don't even have a friend to chat with,when i'm bored.

you might say:[Hey, you can find me and chat whenever you wanted to.]
my answer would be: [No... i don't want to chat with just any ordinary friends.]

know why?
because i know you guys don't really cared. i needed someone who really cared, who i felt safe sharing my secrets with...
someone who i know, will be there for me when i needed them.
and sorry for Christians, i don't believe the whole 'God is always by your side.' thing.
sorry to say, i'm not trying to prove your believes are wrong,
just that my believe is that i decide my faith, not someone who i never saw, and will never be able to see, that decides my faith.

and some of you knew that i had a crush on somebody..
just to let you all know, sad to say that, i had this bad feeling, that the Shine of Hope is fading...
i don't even have the strength to pull myself up and work for what i want.
i don't know what causes this, and i don't know how to get rid of it.
i don't even know who to get help from.

so many stupid moves that i've taken, resulting several stabs into my heart.
maybe the wound is still there, maybe it never healed, maybe it'll stay there forever.
no one to be blamed for the stupid things i did.
and are not asking for forgiveness for the stupid things that I've done.
and yes, I'm still doing stupid things, even though i know what i really should be doing.

and yes, i must thanks someone for shining up my days recently,
although is too foreign to be seeing this, but Thanks.
Thursday will be the one day that'll make a difference.
Whether we'll become closer friends, or part and move on with our life.
but still, i have to thank you, for giving me such nice times and chats,
although we've just known each other like a few weeks.
maybe it is true, like what you say, AMC and ST does suites each other.
maybe there's some kind of weird power, pulling us closer.

Lastly, i'm sorry, for all the stupid things that i've done, that i'm doing, and that i'm going to do next.

[Feeling]

Just a bit to share.

people said that Worker Life is very stressful, especially when you are working in the capital of the country.
this doesn't seems truthful to me,
life has been pretty boring for me,
this is the routine of my lifestyle nowaday:
-wake up around 6:30 and get prepared
- drove to work, roughly about 30mins to 1hour.(no breakfast)
- work til about 1pm or 2pm, go for lunch, (basically it's finish work about 1pm or 2pm.)
- go back home and start online until about 12am or 1 am.


now, i kinda missed my life in Uni, and even Secondary...
i have my family to hang out with during my secondary, and my course-mate and House-mate during my Uni life.
my Colleagues? yea, they are my house-mate, but i don't wanna hang out with them.
because:
1: They are Indonesian, hang out with them? no way, i cant understand WTH they are saying
2: They are Smokers, i Hate Smoker.
3: Their Lifestyle just can't fit in to Mine! Man, they even eat Tilapias which are caught from nearby Rivers! you understand that? Tilapias from Rivers in KL! i'll die faster if i eat those!

basically, Virtual Life is what that have been entertaining me lately, but sometimes it gets quiet too.


i recall my Secondary lifestyle~
studying in Library at night are so Cool~ where people who really knows you hang out with you, chat with you, even ask you out for Yum Cha after that~
Lots of BS during Yam Cha session, but those are the days..

Also, there are this period of time when i had a crush on my Classmate. yea, she was beautiful, gorgeous to be exact. so many things was going through my mind when i'm having a crush on her. Mixed feelings... man, i even sat under the moon deep thinking for like 2 hours, because of her, i think...

That was stupid, i know, haha, but i DID enjoyed the atmosphere that time.
try and imagine,
sitting under the Moon, with insect noises here and there...
when you look around, there are no body, and in front of you is a empty football field.
now ask yourself, where can you find this kind of places now? unless you're from a Village area....

other moments that i missed so much is the time when i'm dating, but i shall not post it now...
maybe next time...
maybe never.... who knows...